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AutorenbildScout Shawnee Shalon

The moment of loss

My thoughts after breaking the nose and losing in the semi-final at the IBJJF World Championship No-Gi 2019


For a competitor, in that moment, everything around you falls apart. It's like you're on a roller coaster and the rack breaks and you're falling with high speed towards the floor. This feeling is hard to understand if you've never felt it yourself. Everything you've worked for in the past months seems useless and wasted: every hour of training, being tired, lack of sleep, dealing with injuries and insecurities, trying to make enough money to eat and to have a roof over your head, feeling misunderstood and at the same time trying to fit in the normal daily society at work and in social life. Logically it's not wasted at all, but in that moment your brain doesn't function in a logical way.

But even though we fall deep after big losses, we get up every single time and hold on to our dreams. Because we are too proud and too ambitious to give up. We want to prove to everyone that we can do, especially to ourselves. Even though I've cried and said to my dad already a few times in my life that this is it and I want to give up, I would've never given up. I never gave up in my entire life. I always fought until the bitter end, in every situation of my life. In school, in sport, in relationships and more. Warriors never give up. And in my opinion, either you are born to be a warrior, or you are not.


On the other hand, we probably are just lost creatures who are constantly looking for a purpose in life without realizing that being a warrior, a fighter, a competitor is exactly our purpose in this world. – I cheer to every fighter out there. For whatever dream or reason you are fighting for, keep going and do never forget: the ones who don't give up and never lose hope are the ones who someday are going to make it and live their dream. So, give all you've got, try always your best, fight with your heart & brain and enjoy the ride. One loss is just a small part of your journey. Believe in the fact that there is more out there waiting for you.


xox Scout




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