November 5th, 2020, I received my purple belt from my Professor Felipe. I am very grateful for having found Jiu-Jitsu three years ago. Everyday this sport gives me challenges and makes me stronger, not only on the mats, but also in life.
Lately I was in a difficult phase. I was stressed, sad and angry all the time. I questioned myself, my Jiu-Jitsu, my whole life and existence, the world, and the sense of living a lot more than I already did before COVID-19. Normally, training calms me down but the last month before my graduation to purple belt was like training aroused my anger even more. Lucas, my husband, had to walk around with a protection shield because he never knew when I was going to explode. But as he is a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu, he's also a black belt in handling me and got through it alive.
Last year was a really bad year, but I can say that I’ve never stopped. I never stopped training and I never stopped believing, even though there were moments where it seemed that I'm going to break. There was a moment in October 2020 when I even told Lucas that I'm going to stop training Jiu-Jitsu. He didn't even try to talk me out of it and just asked me if we are going to train the next day in the morning.
So, I want to thank my whole family for always being there and for supporting me. Thank you for crying with me when I lose and thank you for being happier than I am when I win. I have the best family in the world. Many thanks to my professor for being the foundation of my Jiu-Jitsu. Thanks to my whole team for being a cool, selfless, and respectful bundle of people. As a competitive and ambitious woman, it is not always easy to train 95% of the time with bigger and stronger men. But I have always been respected and accepted from the first time I put my foot into the academy - even in times of my less good, angry, and pissed side of mine. Thanks to Professor Tom Cronin and my teammates in Temecula and South Bay, California. A special thanks goes to my best friend, Wendy, for being the best person and the very best training partner ever and for training with me at every hour without complaining. I miss and love you unconditionally. And also, thanks for not getting angry when I roll hard.
And last but not least: thank you, Lucas. With my family, you are the best thing in my life. The love of my life, my husband, my best friend, professor, and training partner. Thank you for loving me so much. Thank you for all the training, all the drills and techniques. Thank you for rolling hard with me, so that I can get better. I know I am the worst person to train and roll with you. (Because with him, I get angry and frustrated very quickly. He says I am never satisfied, and no training is enough for me. I guess he is right). I love you with all my heart. You are my partner in crime, in every situation in life.
I could write a lot more because I have a billion things in my mind right now but the only last thing I want to mention is, that I was so excited to be able to fight the first time as a purple belt in Brazil at the AJP Grand Slam. I am all about all in or nothing! I love being thrown into the cold water. That's what makes me stronger. That's what makes me feel alive.
xox Scout
